Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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