i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
