Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
there was a trapeze. enough said
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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