I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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