i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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