Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
