What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I believe in your delicious
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
