I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
