I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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