3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
