spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
