yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
