they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
