all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
