Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
