No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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