When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize