So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
