I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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