I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
