at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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