Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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