now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize