Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
