? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
