he told me I talked like a deaf person
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
