.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
