Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize