you win again, gameday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
