You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
