kristin has been a bad kristin
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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