Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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