did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You are a genius and a whore.
His nipple licking is glorious
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