i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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