Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
