Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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