Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
