Girls should come with a carfax report
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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