we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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