Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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