I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
