we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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