I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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