my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
