did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
