I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
