good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
