So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize