you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
