Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
