how can u be prego again
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
