first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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