The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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