I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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