My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
