so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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