And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think my vagina is haunted
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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