im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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