i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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